Wake Up Call #2

Merry Christmas (yesterday)! Here is this week’s Wake Up Call– hopefully you’re reading this from home in your jammies, still full from Christmas goodies.

monday

 

Me: What does PHAT stand for? Is it an acronym? Polar, hot-ass, titties?

Husband: Pretty hot and tempting, Bex.

Me: Oh yeah, I feel like I knew that.


 

Grandma: Ice in your wine?

Me: Yes, Grandma, I’m a classy lady!

Grandma: That’s amateur…


 

Me: I’m taking over pinching and poking, since my cousin obviously doesn’t know how.

Cousin: Yeah I do! *Points at son and winks*


 

“My sister is beautiful inside and out.” -Rachel, on a date.


 

Discussing “The Freebie List”* with my husband:

Me: Eddie Redmayne is officially on my list.

Husband: What if you met Eddie Redmayne in real life? Would you actually have sex with him?

Me: No! But I’d let him kiss me.

Husband: Where?

Me: On my lips. My mouth lips.

Husband: Ok, you can kiss Eddie Redmayne.

Me: Ok, you can motorboat Emily Blunt. Or Penelope Cruz.

Husband: No, not Penelope Cruz.

Me: I thought you loved her!

Husband: Yeah but she is almost 50.

Me: Someday I will almost be 50!

Husband: Yeah, but I will also be that age.

 

*If you do not know what The Freebie List is please watch Friends Season 3, Episode 5.


 

Sister: I was just parting my hair and a piece was on the wrong side, and this was my exact thought: You belong over there [other side of the part] my little butterfly.


 

And for the finale, this group text gem from Mexico (which may only be funny to people who were there, so I apologize):

2016-12-13-16-54-342016-12-13-16-54-462016-12-13-16-54-542016-12-13-16-55-10

 

That’s all for now! Stay tuned for some actual writing this week. 😉

Byeeeeeeeeee.

bye

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