Happy Monday friends! I am writing this week’s wake up call whilst I enjoy a cup of coffee and a nice breakfast in my comfy clothes. No school for me today! Thank you Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, for your words of peace and hope and righteousness, and for fighting for what is right.
I hope you enjoy this week’s wake up call, whether you are reading it at home or using at as a tool of procrastination at work. 😉
“Seals are beautiful creatures.”
“I feel like I need to rinse my nose out.” -Husband, after smelling a fart
Husband: How’s your nudie?
*Sister & I start laughing*
Husband: Is that what it’s called?
Sister: No. It’s a noodie!
Friend A: (Describing the first time she used a Shewee*) I was afraid I was gonna pee all over myself so I took off all my clothes.
Friend B: Even your socks?
Friend A: Probably. But afterwards, it was the best moment, and I was looking around for someone to celebrate with. But I was alone.
Friend B: That was probably best.
*Shewee’s Amazon description:
- The SHEWEE is the ORIGINAL female urination device
- Allows women to stand to urinate without removing any clothing
- Reusable and lightweight at just 50g – Material: Polypropylene (recyclable)
- SHEWEE Extreme includes original unit, extension pipe, and storage case
- Perfect for traffic jams, camping, dirty toilets, festivals, women in the military (NATO approved) and much more
“My hair was so greasy you could fry eggs on it.”
Sister, to someone she just met: I’m so glad you asked [to see pictures of my sister’s dog].
Man Friend: Are you showing her pictures of your grandma?
Man Friend: Is it [friend’s baby]?
Sister: No! It’s Nellie!
Man Friend: That was my next guess.
“I wish Santa could body roll.”
Have a weird week everyone!
PS I got to play with these tiny hands yesterday, and it was so much fun. I really freaked out a man, not even on purpose. I’m thinking about investing in a pair so that I can continue to freak people out with them.