Wake Up Call #10

Hey y’all! It’s Monday again! And for some very sad reason, I am not off school for Presidents’ Day this year. Wah!


Anyways, here’s this week’s wake up call.


Sister’s Boyfriend: To friend Yeah, I’ve been on the blog twice. I’m Man Friend. To me: Can I be Boyfriend now?


Friend’s dad at party: This is my son, Timmy.

Friend (Timmy): I don’t know what he’s talking about, but my name is Jordan.


“I’m no badass, I’m just, like, regular.”


Sister: Illinois and Indiana are like brothers.

Me: Yeah, I totally know what you mean. What about Michigan?

Sister: They’re more like cousins.


Me: Aw, that’ll be us some day!  Gestruring to adorable elderly couple, drinking. 

Husband: I won’t be that guy.

Me: Why? He’s cute.

Husband: No. He’s not.


Looking up a song someone is singing in a movie, Husband types “Willis Nelson.”

Me: It’s Willie Nelson! Seriously?! Willis?!

*Mad laughter.*

Husband: Oh my God. It was an accident. Why are you laughing like that?


Me: Was it you that told me I invented the Bernie?

Friend: Yeah, you did! You just didn’t know it!”

(I used to often do a little shimmy-dance after a couple of beverages.)


That’s all for now, folks! Byeeeeeeee.


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