Hey y’all! It’s Monday again! And for some very sad reason, I am not off school for Presidents’ Day this year. Wah!
Anyways, here’s this week’s wake up call.
Sister’s Boyfriend: To friend Yeah, I’ve been on the blog twice. I’m Man Friend. To me: Can I be Boyfriend now?
Friend’s dad at party: This is my son, Timmy.
Friend (Timmy): I don’t know what he’s talking about, but my name is Jordan.
“I’m no badass, I’m just, like, regular.”
Sister: Illinois and Indiana are like brothers.
Me: Yeah, I totally know what you mean. What about Michigan?
Sister: They’re more like cousins.
Me: Aw, that’ll be us some day! Gestruring to adorable elderly couple, drinking.
Husband: I won’t be that guy.
Me: Why? He’s cute.
Husband: No. He’s not.
Looking up a song someone is singing in a movie, Husband types “Willis Nelson.”
Me: It’s Willie Nelson! Seriously?! Willis?!
Husband: Oh my God. It was an accident. Why are you laughing like that?
Me: Was it you that told me I invented the Bernie?
Friend: Yeah, you did! You just didn’t know it!”
(I used to often do a little shimmy-dance after a couple of beverages.)
That’s all for now, folks! Byeeeeeeee.