Good morning my little bunnies. I hope everyone (who celebrates) had a wonderful Easter yesterday, and if you don’t celebrate, I hope you had a lovely Sunday anyways. It was also my birthday yesterday, so I was overloaded with love. I truly may be the luckiest girl in the world. Thank you for any and all birthday wishes sent my way yesterday.
Not to get sappy, but as I move into my 28th year, starting new adventures with this blog, my career, and my writing, I so appreciate everyone who takes the time to read on The Married Cat Lady. It truly brings me so much joy to share my writing with you all.
Ok, I’m done, I promise. Now the fun stuff.
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*Sister dances in the car.*
Me: Oh, that’s nice!
Sister: I never know how to take it when you compliment my dancing. Does that mean it’s super weird?
Husband went to get his hair cut…
“After he finished cutting my hair my guy was like, ‘Do you want me to do your eyebrows?'”
(By “do” he meant thread them.)
“I said, ‘Oh, you think they need it?’
“And the guy was like, ‘Oh yeah, man.’
“So, my eyes were closed because that shit hurts like a bitch and my eyes water. All of a sudden, I feel something hot in my nose, and then he pulls it out– it was wax! And then he showed it to me. It was disgusting.
“But I do feel like I can smell better.”
Discussing male strip shows…
Friend: He was soft at the beginning, but after he rubbed up on some girls, he started to get a chub.
Me: I mean, does anyone want to see a soft penis?
*Everyone shakes their head, “No.”
“I just didn’t understand why you wouldn’t turn the faucet on… I didn’t want to publicly criticize you, but I feel like I can criticize you privately.” -My aunt, in regards to last week’s Wake Up Call/ bug debacle
“I didn’t feel like explaining what I do [for a living], so I just said I was a plumber.” -Friend, talking to someone on an airplane
(He’s like Chandler Bing; no one really knows what he does.)
Friend: Who’s on the blog more: Me or your sister?
Friend: Ok. Me or Husband?
Husband: Dude, I’m married to her!!
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But I love all of you for letting me share our conversations with the internet.