Wake Up Call #22

The Wake Up Call is back! Happy Monday y’all!

Now, I am done with school (as you all know), but I know I have a few teacher friends out there who have one more week. You can do it!!

giphy (3)

Fittingly, I decided the first Wake Up Call after the hiatus/ school gets out would be a student edition. This is the future, people. 😉

**All names and identifying information have been deleted or replaced.**

– – –

One time I got a hand drawn picture of a heart, and inside it said, “If you think I’m cute, you should see my Dad!” Her parents are happily married, she just really liked me!

 


 

“I had a dream you killed me last night.”

-Student to teacher

 


 

Kid: I had journal entry today I’ll tell you what I wrote, but it’s a secret.

Mom: Oh, okay.

Kid: I wrote about my fidget spinner.

Mom: But you don’t have one?

Kid: Yeah, well I lied and no one knows.

 


 

Student: I know what car you drive.

Teacher: Oh yeah?

Student: A red one. My mom and me saw you driving. You were talking on the phone.

Teacher: Always.

Student: She says slow down and get off your phone.

 


 

“My boyfriend told me if I give him a blow job before sex I can suck all his sperm out and then he can’t get me pregnant. Is that true?”

-Student in health class

 


 

During testing, the writing portion was a narrative prompt that said, “Tell a story about a time you had to change your PLANS due to the weather.” One of my students wrote the entire narrative (it took her 45 minutes) on a time she had to change her PANTS.

 


 

We were playing Uno, and it was getting close to time to go in, and I told [student] we needed to start wrapping things up. She said– totally dead-pan, not her typical sweet, little voice, “I’m not ready yet, bitch.” Then she immediately started crying.

 


 

Student: There’s a bad word in this play. Maybe we shouldn’t read it.

Teacher: No, Dick is just a nickname for Richard.

Student: *gets red in the face* That’s my Dad’s name.

 


 

A girl came up to my teaching partner today and said, “Mrs. [Teacher], right here hurts,” while rubbing her boob. Then she was like circling it, and saying, “My privates hurt, maybe they’re growing!” and giggled in a super creepy laugh. It was so weird, I couldn’t stop laughing. I had to leave the room.

 


 

“I don’t get adults these days.”

– – –

Kiddos are the best part about being a teacher. Thanks for always making us laugh. Cheers to the summer, teachers! You deserve it!

giphy

Advertisements

11 thoughts on “Wake Up Call #22

  1. Pingback: Wake Up Call #32: Teacher Edition | The Married Cat Lady

  2. These are brilliant!

    Although… “My boyfriend told me if I give him a blow job before sex I can suck all his sperm out and then he can’t get me pregnant. Is that true?” Thank goodness she asked in calss rather than testing out the theory and getting preggers!!

    Liked by 1 person

Thoughts? Do tell!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s