Wake Up Call #22

The Wake Up Call is back! Happy Monday y’all!

Now, I am done with school (as you all know), but I know I have a few teacher friends out there who have one more week. You can do it!!

Fittingly, I decided the first Wake Up Call after the hiatus/ school gets out would be a student edition. This is the future, people. 😉

**All names and identifying information have been deleted or replaced.**

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One time I got a hand drawn picture of a heart, and inside it said, “If you think I’m cute, you should see my Dad!” Her parents are happily married, she just really liked me!

 

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“I had a dream you killed me last night.”

-Student to teacher

 

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Kid: I had journal entry today I’ll tell you what I wrote, but it’s a secret.

Mom: Oh, okay.

Kid: I wrote about my fidget spinner.

Mom: But you don’t have one?

Kid: Yeah, well I lied and no one knows.

 

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Student: I know what car you drive.

Teacher: Oh yeah?

Student: A red one. My mom and me saw you driving. You were talking on the phone.

Teacher: Always.

Student: She says slow down and get off your phone.

 

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“My boyfriend told me if I give him a blow job before sex I can suck all his sperm out and then he can’t get me pregnant. Is that true?”

-Student in health class

 

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During testing, the writing portion was a narrative prompt that said, “Tell a story about a time you had to change your PLANS due to the weather.” One of my students wrote the entire narrative (it took her 45 minutes) on a time she had to change her PANTS.

 

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We were playing Uno, and it was getting close to time to go in, and I told [student] we needed to start wrapping things up. She said– totally dead-pan, not her typical sweet, little voice, “I’m not ready yet, bitch.” Then she immediately started crying.

 

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Student: There’s a bad word in this play. Maybe we shouldn’t read it.

Teacher: No, Dick is just a nickname for Richard.

Student: *gets red in the face* That’s my Dad’s name.

 

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A girl came up to my teaching partner today and said, “Mrs. [Teacher], right here hurts,” while rubbing her boob. Then she was like circling it, and saying, “My privates hurt, maybe they’re growing!” and giggled in a super creepy laugh. It was so weird, I couldn’t stop laughing. I had to leave the room.

 

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“I don’t get adults these days.”

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Kiddos are the best part about being a teacher. Thanks for always making us laugh. Cheers to the summer, teachers! You deserve it!