Good morning sunshines! I hope everyone had a fabulous weekend! I spent the weekend with some of my favorite humans, laughing, dancing, shouting, and frolicking around Madison, WI.
Oh, also, Nellie’s birthday was last Thursday! She’s two! We took her on an adventure to celebrate. She loved it.
And one more exciting thing: I officially hit 100 WordPress followers over the weekend! Woo! Thank you to everyone who follows The Married Cat Lady; it truly means a lot.
Ok, ok, I’m done rambling. Here’s this week’s Wake Up Call!
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Sister: Today is June 10th. Tomorrow is June 11th, my half birthday. It’s fine if you want to give me my present tonight.
(She’s 24– and a half. *Eye roll*)
Friend 1: Now that I have my Masters, I’m gonna get a doctorate, and then do something else.
Friend 2: What comes after a PhD?
Friend 1: I don’t know. I’ll be like a goddess, or something.
Me: I mean, it’s just like something I do for fun on the side.
Sister: She means teaching. Porn is her full-time job.*
Me: Porn is my passion.
Friend: I want that on my tombstone– Here lies Bob. Porn is my passion.
*THIS IS A JOKE. I AM NOT INVOLVED IN PORN IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM.
Friend’s Dad: Did you order the Uber?
Friend: Yes. It’s on its way.
Friend’s Dad: What kind of car is it? I want to pick my car.
Friend: That’s not really how it works, Dad.
Friend 1: I was so obsessed with U2 in college. Bono and I were best friends. He would love me.
Friend 2: I actually have a picture with Bono. He walked right past me when I worked at a stadium.
Friend 1: Oh my God. I would have kissed him.
Old man: I grew up Catholic, but I was never an altar boy, so I’m still walking straight.
(From an overheard conversation between an old man and two old ladies in the grocery store parking lot.)
She was the Beyonce of cats.
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Ok guys, go out an be the Beyonce of whatever you’re doing this week!