Wake Up Call #24

Good morning beautiful people!


I hope all the dads had a wonderful Father’s Day yesterday, and know how loved and appreciated you are– especially my Daddy-o!

Photo Jun 18, 5 22 26 PM

Time for your weekly dose of Monday morning giggles!

– – –

Mom: Grandma said I look prettier with her new glasses.

Me: Grandma, do I look prettier with your new glasses?

*Grandma chuckles and thinks for a second.*

Grandma: You have dimples.

Me: So…. no?



from a friend:

Daughter: *just woke woke up out of a sound sleep* Ummmmm, Daaaad!

Dad: Yes, [Daughter].

Daughter: We need guacamole!

(Girl’s got her priorities right!)



Friend: Do you ever get chills up your butt? Like when something grosses you out?

Literally everyone else: No. That’s weird.

*Later, Friend gets grossed out…*

Friend: *Gagging noise* Just got the chills up my butt!



“We’re in line for security, and it’s not even that bad, but he’s complaining. ‘Why do we have to stand here? Why aren’t we moving?’ We make it to the front of the line, and whose bag gets pulled? My dad’s. So we go over there, and they pull out a giant, utility-sized bottle of Jock Itch. The TSA people tell him they’re going to have to confiscate it, and he says, ‘But I just bought that.’ They say something like, ‘ We apologize, sir, but you can’t take it with you,’ and my dad says, ‘Well, what are you going to do with it?’ I wanted to tell him, ‘No Dad, they’re not going to hold onto it for you until we get back.’ Then I texted my mom and told her good luck flying with Dad next month.”

-Friend, at the airport with her dad



Waitress: Do you want me to get this [drink] out of the way?

Me: No, I’m still sucking on it…

*I lean down to take a sip and realizing what I just said, glance up at my friends.*

Friend: Nope. It’s too easy.



*Reading the history of the restaurant we’re eating at, and we discover the owner is known as the “Hamburger King” and his daughter, who now runs the restaurant, is known as the “Hamburger Princess.*

Sister: I would love to be known as the Hamburger Princess.



Friend: Who do you think invented tittie tassels?


giphy (5)

I hope your week is so great that you shoot fireworks out of your chest!

P.S. Someone (my husband) suggested I do a Wake Up call with only pictures/ gifs of dogs. How do we feel about this idea?



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