Good morning sleepyheads! We are home from our fabulous vacation! It was filled with sightseeing, eating, drinking, family, and laughter and love!
As much fun as we had on our vacay, I have to say that I am happy to be home. I missed my fur babies A LOT. And I’m ready to get back into the swing of everyday life/ not eat and drink until I’m ready to burst everyday.
So, let’s get crackin’ shall we?
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Husband went to get a haircut, and asked the guy to thread his eyebrows. The last time he did this, he got a surprise nose waxing.
I didn’t want to ask him to do my nose, but I wouldn’t stop him. So, I’m just watching the TV, and I feel it again–the hotness– but it was in MY EAR!
He stuck one in each ear and each nostril, so I’m sitting there with four Q-tips sticking out of my head. I really wanted to take a picture, but that would’ve been too embarrassing.
Sister-in-law: I was fine on the airplane, but as soon as I got off, I just looked around and had nowhere to go, so I threw up on the tarmac getting off the plane. Within thirty seconds of being in this country, I threw up.
Husband: In my other head, I– *stops, shakes his head* What did I just say?
Husband: Would you rather eat a spoonful of my finger- and toenails, or a spoonful of my chest hair.
Me: Hmmm… The nails I guess.
Husband: Ew! Why? They’d be sharp.
Me: I’d swallow them like pills. The hair would get stuck in my throat!
Sister (the morning after a bar crawl): There will only be 364 days this year.
I look at her, confused.
Sister: Because that one is gone for me.
Me: My burrito was supposed to have guacamole, and it didn’t.
Husband: It’s one of the biggest crises white women face these days.
Me: It’s a big problem.
Father-in-law: Yeah, I saw that episode [of Game of Thrones] with the– what are those big bird-things with wings?
Father-in-law: Yeah, saw that one.
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Go be a dragon this week!