Is it me, or did Monday really creep up on us this week? Such sly minx.
I hope you all had a magical weekend. Are you ready to tackle this week?!
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Me: My dad has really small nipples.
Friend: Yeah, I’ve seen your dad’s nipples.
Mom: Do you remember what we discovered in Mexico?
Mom: That Dad and Grandpa have the same size nipples!
Sister: Oh yeah!!!!
(I know, it seems weird that there was so much talk about my dad’s nipples. But, they really are small; they’re the size of dimes! (We measured once.) I was comparing a spider I saw to the size of nipples, and my dad asked whose nipples, and it all got weird(er) from there.)
Friend: We’re going to the Notre Dame game tomorrow with our couple friends.
Friend’s friend: Why, did they go there?
FF: So.. did they just watch Rudy a lot growing up?
Me: I farted earlier, but I rolled down the window, so you wouldn’t smell it. You’re welcome.
Friend: Oh my God! That must have been right after me! I farted, and then you rolled down your window, and I thought you smelled it! I was so embarrassed!
Friend: I had a patient named Imagine.
Me: That’s… interesting.
Friend: No, it gets better. It was spelled A-m-a-g-i-n.
Me: Oh, nooooo!
I farted in yoga the other day, and I thought of you.
Friend: When I was not cool in 8th grade, I pecked a girl on the lips, and then ran away. Like physically ran away. Then everyone was making fun of me, so I said my mom was calling, and I had to leave… I didn’t even get her on the lips. It was a little to the left. I was scared.
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Don’t be scared this week, my friends– be a shark!