Wake Up Call #37

/ Becca Barracuda

Good morning, everyone!

Guess what I did this weekend? Bought a new car! Yay! I’m v excited to have air conditioning and park in my driveway.

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Let’s drive right in, shall we? (Hehe, get it?)

– – –

Me: Did I dream that you told me you liked Times New Roman better than Calibri font? Or did that really happen?

Sister: No… that didn’t happen.

Me: Is it weird that I thought it did?

Sister: Yes.

Me: I have strong feelings about Times New Roman font.

Sister: Obviously.

 

 

Sister: His name on Facebook is Christopurr.

Me: Do you want to be best friends?

Christopurr: Yeah, sure.

Christopurr‘s friend: He only posts cat videos.

Me: Ok, it’s decided. We’re bffs.

 

 

Aunt: The guy next to me on the train is scratching his balls. He’s very thorough.

Sister: Oh, ew. Maybe there’s something wrong with them.

 

 

Friend: My night just keeps getting better. [Child] was staring at the tub filling up for her bath, and all of a sudden I heard something, so I looked down and she was staring at herself peeing! She peed right on the bathmat in front of the tub and then started laughing. The water sound from the tub must have made her have to go to the bathroom.

Me: OMG. I love that she laughs when she does something weird.

Friend: It makes things super awkward.

Me: But never dull!

 

 

Stranger: You’re a hardo.

Me (to sister): What’s a hardo?

Sister: A hard ass.

Me (to stranger): Yeah, I am! (to Sister) Is a hard ass like a badass?

Sister: …No.

 

 

Husband: You didn’t put that funny thing I said on the Wake Up Call.

Me: Which one?

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This one.

– – –

Toodles!

Wake Up Call 3

11 thoughts on “Wake Up Call #37”

  1. The toddler peeing on the bathmat could nearly be me; the number of times I did something with water running next and I had to run to pee….. and I thought it was my age 🙂
    I also remember that when I wanted my small kid to do a wee in his potty, and he wouldn’t want to understand I put on the water slightly in the faucet; it worked astonishingly well….
    Could you pleasey, pretty please put more dog-gifs in your blogs? Just asking….
    Love from France, where it’s, right now, peeing/weeing weather (on off downpours stopping next downpour…. oh the joy)

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      • Thanks, but with all the upheaval I was still able to go into my garden and work twice for an hour. There is one huge advantage to garden-work after a rain: The soil is giving you the roots of the weeds much easier…. but I was soaked by the cutting back of the wisterias with their mile-long tendrils…. I had to jump up to grab one at the time and then when cutting them back (to be able to pull out the obscenely long ‘lianes’ entangeling the trees 2 1/2meters away, they sprayed me with rivers of rainwater! I’m all clean now!!!!

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    • I feel there should be equality of the dogcats and an equal number of dog and cat gifs because both are hilarious.

      I also now want to put my kittens in a box and send them sailing down the stairs. If they come to harm I’m blaming you and the hilarious gif!

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  3. Oh…. I can’t get behind hardo. It sounds a little too close to hard-on, I feel. Just… uncomfortably close. No thank you.

    As for Times New Roman…. I side-eye it with suspicion (it’s always boring. Anything printed in TNR is boring) but I will take it any day over the horror that is Comic Sans!

    And I agree with Kiki. More dog gifs!!! Nice car btw! SWISH!

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Thoughts? Do tell!