Wake Up Call #38

Hello beautiful readers! How are you this Monday morning? Are you ready to kick some ass? I think you are!

Source

I did something that pushed me outside my comfort zone this weekend: aerial yoga! It was hard, a little scary, but more importantly so liberating! (And then afterwards we had champagne, so that was also fab.)

So, the quote above is really speaking to me, and I want to take that with me throughout the week, and I hope you do, too. You are capable of so much more than you think you are. Go out into the world and chase your dreams!

Ok, ok, I’m done with my zen rambling. (But, seriously, I mean it!)

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The devil is raging in my uterus.

 

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Sister: I’ve seen you dorn that look before.

Me: You’ve seen me what?

Sister: Dorn.

Me: Nope. A-dorn.

Sister: Whatever.

 

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Friend: My friend’s girlfriend has a booger. What do I do?

Me: Tell her?!

Friend: I can’t!! Why isn’t he telling her? He’s looked at her like three times. He has to see it too!

Friend: Update: it’s gone.

Me: Oh, thank goodness.

Friend: You have no idea. My palms were sweating.

 

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Friend A: I got asked in an interview once, “What cereal would you be?”

Me: What did you say?

Friend A: I said, “Well, I guess– you know those healthy, granola cereals?” and the man looked at me and was just like, “Oh…” So then I said, “I swear, I’m not super bougie!”

Me: Hmm, I think you would be Fruity Pebbles.

Friend A: Really?

Me: Yes! Because you’re so spunky and creative.

Friend B: I would be Cheerios, but not even the honey nut kind. Just the regular, boring Cheerios.

 

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Friend: I feel like this entire brunch has been a sitcom: we talked about what cereals we would be, Becca cried at the end of a yoga class–

Me: I’m not ashamed.

Friend: Well, obviously.

 

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Friend A: Please keep your feet off Snapchat.

Friend B: Why? You don’t like them?

Friend A: You disgust me.

 

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Stranger (to my sister and me): Can you take it down a notch?

Me: In pitch or volume?

Stranger: I mean, both would be good.

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