Wake Up Call #45: Rachel Edition

Happy Monday! Today is a special day: my sister Rachel’s birthday!

We celebrated over the weekend by dancing on a trolley, frolicking in the city, eating jello shots, and hugging each other a lot.

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I also got her the best present (besides allowing her to be my sister): two little frogs! They are adorable, and she named them Becca and Steve, which I think is just perfect.

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In her honor, I thought I’d comb through previous wake up calls and find the best-of Sister.

You’re welcome.

– – –

Friend: Have you ever had sex–

Sister: No.

Friend: No, I didn’t finish…

Sister: Yeah, me neither. *Smirks*



Me to my sister: Who’s your favorite?

Sister: Between the two of you? (Looking pointedly at friend and me.)

I nod.

Sister: Myself.



“This isn’t a fork anymore. It’s a microphone.”



“My sister is beautiful inside and out.”



“I was just parting my hair and a piece was on the wrong side, and this was my exact thought: You belong over there [other side of the part] my little butterfly.”



“When boys have to pee and poo, do they stand to pee, and then sit down? Or, do they sit the whole time? When [man friend] went to the bathroom this morning, I thought of that.”



“And then I thought to myself, ‘Oh no! I puked on the toilet paper roll! [Roommate] is going to kill me.”



Sister: You know, it just seems like a lot of holes to jump through.

Mom: You mean hoops?

Sister: Yeah, whatever. English is hard.



“The human body is amazing. The skin over my cut is growing back already!”



“When I speak in a certain direction, my voice echoes. It’s like hearing me twice. Which is a gift to all… *quietly* all.”


– – –

Happy birthday, Sistah! Thank you for always making me giggle. I’m so glad you were born. (Shout out to my parents for making that happen.)


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